It seems I’ve stalled my metabolism by not refueling every morning with breakfast and rarely with lunch for years. Throw into the mix that I do not sleep in regular cycles thus taxing my bio rhythm so it is confused. According to her PhDness, it’s going to take me 6 months of eating within an hour after I wake, not skipping lunch until 3 PM like I normally do and daily exercise (ugh) to get my engine revved up again. Supposedly, we are like cars.She drew a graph and showed me the difference between me and my mythical twin sister who ate breakfast and lunch on a daily basis.
She was an energetic, zippy, cute little Bmer.
I was a Prius.
Don’t think efficiency. She was going with the visual.I am realistic. I would be very happy to be a Bmer. I started out a mint condition ’57 Chevy. I had my days as a Corvette upgrading to a Ferrari along the way. I’m considered a vintage model now. Even with the possibility of a major overhaul of original parts with a suspension lift and restoration body work done, I still rather opt this for the kitchen and the downstairs bathroom.
Lately my bumper has been dragging and if I don’t want to see my chassis end up on the used car lot things have got to change. I’ve had a complete tune up – stress eco cardio – *check & great; thyroid – *check & normal; blood panels – *check and I was assured the good, bad and the ugly triglyceride numbers will improve once I am on the highway to better health and on the road to becoming the Bmer.
So far the Nutritionatrix has not asked for much – a food diary, 8 glasses of water, probiotics, breakfast and lunch eaten and to turn off the computer 3 hours before bed. WHAT? Clearly she has gone too far. She told me our brains continue to process 2-3 hours after this type of stimulation and this can interfere with sleep. All I heard was ‘turn off the computer’ and I had to mentally reboot so I didn’t think to ask her about TV and reading. I usually park it around 2 AM so she might have a point. Make me eat meat protein (gag) first thing upon (gag) rising (gag) but please, not this!!
So what have I done to reach Bmer status over the weekend? Hmmm… Uh… I’m thinking lime juice is fruit juice and agave juice – come on! A vegetable even by Jack Lalanne’s standards!
Salt = mineral. On the rocks = water. I’ve put low octane in my premium tank and I’m pinging all over town and there’s no hiding it from her.
Guess premium tequila doesn’t count.
The Nutritionatrix said these changes would be very uncomfortable at first. Gross understatement. They’re not even registering on my radar gun. To be mindful I thought of making a chart with stickers to be placed on the frig for me to be “pantry trained”.
I so want to be a zippy Bmer while I still have some miles left on the odometer.
There needs to be less junk in da trunk and higher RPMs.
Mile 1 begins today.
