When I began blogging late one night last January my heart raced. I had no idea where I was going. I just knew I had to begin the journey. That is one thing I believe we share, the excitement of creation in our own journalistic world.
People often express quite eloquently what blogging has meant to them and I easily follow the template laid before me. Perhaps because I am trying to find a new place in my life and purpose on a daily basis I am looking at it with more introspection than I normally would or when I first began.
This is what has been bubbling up for me: I find writing for public view can make me feel very exposed at times as I tend to be free with my thoughts and words. It is an insecurity I think must be present in everyone who gives a piece of themselves, their soul, for scrutiny, praise or intentional revolution whether in the written word or another art form.
Sometimes I am very pleased that I am able to convey my thoughts through the venue of writing and photography. Sometimes I am amazed I can learn a new technical trick by myself. Sometimes I am embarrassed by being too open with my emotions and personal information and that I am willing to share this with people I have not met face to face and sometimes I find myself concerned what these people must think of me for doing so. Sometimes I feel I must give a disclaimer and a light apology when telling others about my blog before they read it for all its ‘girlie pinkness’ and frivolousness which I know at times it can be. Sometimes I regret telling certain people about my blog because we have lost touch and although they can still access my life online the sharing is not reciprocal.
Like anything in life that has genuine worth and value there are checkpoints that let you know that it is. Learning a new way to navigate and express oneself should be filled with self-exploration or at least I hope it is for me. A part of me wants to go in a new blogging direction. Another part wants to stay where I am and continue to evolve here.I still have no idea where I’m headed but I do know I have to continue with the journey and I have valued being part of yours and loved you being part of mine.
