The day before they leave is the hardest for me. I tend to sulk internally knowing what is coming. This past week everything was as it should have been, selfishly, for me. There were home cooked meals around the kitchen table, dinner at the sushi bar where the owner/chef was happy to see us walk in all together, the ironing board made one of its trimester appearances, multiple trips to the grocery store were made once with a son in accompaniment much to my amazement. A Rice Krispies Treats kitchen date was requested by the other son where I was to teach him the secret to why he thinks my recipe is the best he has ever tasted.
There is no secret.
That is the lovely part.

Last night I saw my son laugh so hard where no sound was forthcoming but only tears. I have never seen him this way before to see that expression on his face. It was over the silliest thing the three of us were talking about and was one of those instances of complete happiness where I felt a tingle in the air. A moment where I pray that if I do get to see my life flash before me at my passing I will relive how I felt at that moment. It would be on my Green Flash List right before my sun sets.

I have a running list ~ the sun on my boys’ hair when they were in my arms as toddlers, gliding over crimson water at sunset that seamlessly echoed the sky, a hand written letter from my husband where my emotions could not be contained.

It really is about the little things and I’m grateful I slowed down this week and turned around last night to add yet another to my list.

So grateful.